This is the place for Superheroines and Superheroes to get their news about the Halcyon Heroics and Detestable Depredations in Paragon City! Anarchistic Aliens, Sadistic Supervillains, Dastardly Do-Badders, Malevolent Muggers.....and that's just in the Paragon Cable TV Company! Paragon City is the most God-forsaken megalopolis in the world......get all the lowdown and 411 right here!

SUPERVILLAINS THE STURGEON GENERAL AND THE FILET MINIONS ATTACK PARAGON CITY AQUARIUM!

Paragon City (UPI) - The urban nightmare known as Paragon City is reeling  from its latest  attack perpetrated by long-time crime kingpin The Sturgeon General. Aided by the villainous superteam THE FILET MINIONS, the Sturgeon General "liberated" all of the various fish and reptiles from the Paragon City Aquarium. Paragon City's numerous superhero teams were slow to respond. Several supergroups responded, including ROUGH TRADE, PRISM, THE HARBINGERS OF JUSTICE, and JUSTICE FORCE. JUSTICE FORCE leader Superstellar was able to identify several of the Filet Minions ever-changing lineup, including Squid Pro Quo, The Tsar Dean, Halle Butt and members of the infamous super gang-bangers FISH 'N' CRIPS.

This is but the tip of the iceberg. THE CANADIAN SHIELD's Nowaki has reported battling a plethora of superpowered evil-doers including Mr. Ed Gein (the serial-killing horse), Killagain (with the Skipper and Mary Ann), the undead Communist stand-up comedian uber-group  RED SKELETON, the Canadian supervillainesses THE GRIZZLY MADAMS, the evil Hawaiian Mummy Don-Ho-Tep, Cruel Whip, English Super-Psychotics BRITALIN, TRIGGERNOMETRY, and many others.

The KNIGHTS OF PARAGON's own Warp 9 and Sensai have had their hands full as well, taking on Felonious Monk, THE PIT BULLIES, THE MERRILL LYNCH-MOB, gun-runners THE CARTRIDGE FAMILY, TERRORMISU, Rob Liefeld (the arch-enemy of art) and in their toughest battle to date, white-collar Scientology archcriminal Enron Hubbard. Hubbard is one of Paragon's City's worst supervillains, implicated in the deaths, near-deaths and disappearances of a host of superheroes and superteams including Jean Grey (killed for the 417th time), THE NUCLEAR FAMILY (a.k.a GONE FISSION), THE NUNS SEQUITIR, Hyperbole, The Speechifyer, Dyspepsia, Ms. PMS and Mi-Doll, , BLONDE AMBITION, Chlymidia, THE C.P.AGENTS, The Pacemaker, Floss (a.k.a The Thong Of Liberty), X-TRANEOUS, X-CESSIVE, Dyslexia and The Angry Inch.

AMAZONE: THE MAX FACTOR has also been battling its own coterie of arch-enemies. Usually disdained in the media as "bad-girl groups" (you know, really bad, like some of those J-Pop groups), Amazone's Rogue Gallery is a fiendish group of distaff supervillainy including the likes of THE GAL CAPONES, the underaged ecdysiasts THE STRIP MINORS, the Irish supervillainess Too Raw Lura Lura, PSYCHOSISTER, THE PENNY AUNTIES, the arson/demolition experts THE BLOW-UP DOLLS, THE J. LO SHOTS, FRANKENSTEINEM, the vampiress Lullabite, THE HOOTERRORISTS, MASOKISS, THE VICKY CARR-TEL, THE BETTY WHITE POWDER TRIAD, and Guillotina (with THE GUILLOTEENS). When questioned about this endless super-brawling, team leader/founder Boudicca was heard to babble incoherently about Little Debbie Swiss Cake Rolls, puny humans, patriarchies and websites that refused to work. She then stormed off..

A major riot occurred near City Hall involving members of TEAM 1, PRISM and other superteams taking on a loosely-aligned group of supervillains including CAIN AND MABEL,  the manic-depressive bangers know as  GANGST, psychotic ballet dancers MA AND PA DE  DEUX, the vampire sex cult FANGS FOR THE MAMMARIES, Bobby Nightmare, the sex-offending journalist Lewd Grant, The Kung Fool, TERROR FIRMA, THE GENEVIL CONVENTION, Ms. Take and THE OEDIPUS WRECKS.